Pistols At Dawn [Neku]

[joshua]

knock knock on the door of the house that he knew.
the air grows cold around me and you, and it's cold,
you know that he's there
he's there.
i died so i could have you;
i died so i could haunt you
thousands of ghosts in the daylight -
one day we all disappear.
we'll walk 'til we get to the harbor,
they'll never know we were here.

Turning over the pistol, one of a pair, in his almost-white hand, Joshua remarked to himself that he'd led a considerably full afterlife. And then, internally, it was equal halves disgusting and fascinating to him that the firearm fit so delicately and nicely in his grip.

Thirdly, Shibuya's Composer noted that this had all begun and ended at the side of the water, and supposed that they had come full circle.

In this manner, it was ignored that the events in his throne room were meant to be the end, and had turned out to be a kind of game-shifting intermission instead. It was not often Joshua's plans went awry, but not even his clairvoyance multiplied by his Composer abilities could have predicted their transference into a new world.

And nor could he have planned Neku's succession; at first he had even refused to believe it, but when his Music had begun to miss a note here and there, he had had to come to the terms with the fact that he couldn't exist in another District. Not one like this.

Not one with Neku as the Composer.

Ignoring the fact that he quite simply didn't belong in this world, of course, since that was probably the prime reason for his sudden decay (even now, he could tell that his own Music had lessened to only the base melody, a slow plinking of piano keys as it tittered away in the back of his head), his thoughts then followed through to their natural next step; the orangette.

The metal of the barrel and magazine chamber were ice-cold as he changed his grip, moving his hand gently over the trigger as he passed the gun to his other hand, his thumb coming to a rest on the safety as the top of the pistol nestled against it.

In a way, this action was similar to his dealings with the other. At this change of position, the barrel of the gun hugged the joint of his thumb 'til it passed his wrist, jutting just past the creases of his palm and held abreast at the height required to, if the trigger were pulled at this moment, penetrate his heart. Being close to Neku was akin to pointing a loaded gun at oneself, he supposed, abstractly. Like playing a game of Russian roulette.

Abruptly, his hand dropped out from under the firearm, and he lashed out with the other to clasp the falling gun by the handle.

The Moonflow to his left bubbled over strewn rocks in its shallows, as it had since he'd gotten here and would do after he wasn't.

That thought sobered the French gray, who took a moment to note the corresponding pistol of the pair resting in his hip pocket. He didn't doubt that Neku would show up, straddling the UG and the RG as Josh was, as whether or not the orangette knew, Shibuya's Composer had realized that their melodies were somehow drawn to each other.

And here was where he stopped with the metaphors, because one's death could seriously not get more dramatic than this, and while Joshua was admittedly a theatrical individual, this was a little much.

[neku]

Neku wouldn't ask why Joshua had guns. He wouldn't ask how he knew. He wouldn't. All he cared about was revenge. He remembered bits and pieces as he needed, as he could take. Ever since meeting the Calamity, his memory wanted to rush at him. He wouldn't allow it; he knew what happened if it all came rushing back...Shades took his memory as an entry fee.

Stalker - Shiki Misaki - was the person who taught him that he didn't need to understand people, hell it was entirely impossible. But...he trusted her. He trusted Beat. Most of all, for as crazy as it had seemed, he trusted him. The last memory he had was Joshua, Sho, and him were at Ugadawa and...Joshua killed him. The gun shot was clear in his head.

He also remembered what happened when Joshua told him he was the Composer...and how he would chose Neku for his sick little game...he wanted to erase Shibuya. Neku's anger was at it's peak and he forgot the vital parts - how Joshua 'saved' him. Joshua spared Shibuya. Joshua...was really someone he could trust. But...Neku missed all of that.

That's why when he heard the Music, Neku knew he couldn't walk away from it. He had to face him. Neku was not surprised when he got there and saw the french gray standing there with two guns. "I met her." Neku said, his voice strangely cold. "I remembered. You killed me. You fucking killed me."

Rage and Anger were in Neku's eyes as he held his hand out, as if knowing who that second gun was for. "We're doing this again? Another one of your sick games? Composers fighting for the right to Erase the UG of this place?" Neku thought he knew everything but with his words, it was clear he didn't remember everything.

"Fine. I'll play your sick game one last time." And he would shoot. And he would win. It would be too late that Neku would find out that pulling the trigger of that gun would prove to hurt him more than relieve him of attempted murder. Neku would regain all of his memories soon. It would be then Neku would realize something.

The reason for kissing Joshua that day.

[joshua]

"Twice, actually," Josh corrected Neku, an unreadable smirk on his features. "But then again, who's counting, my dear Neku?"

Inwardly, at those statements, the French gray's chest went tight. Reminding himself that, by all accounts, he was incapable of remorse, Shibuya's Composer put off the irony behind Neku's statements.

"Trust your partner."

Sanae needed to get out of his head, now, or he may have to perform an exorcism on himself just to get rid of his conscience that held a disturbing resemblance to his surrogate father of a kind. And really, hadn't Neku said that? That he hadn't forgiven Joshua, but that he trusted him?

At that point, he definitely shouldn't have been eavesdropping on the orangette's thoughts. One week after the end of the Game and he was still attached to his Partner.

Sanae called him out on it. But even as he retained his dignity by simply leaving, at that point, still the words that Neku had said to him indirectly as he walked from Udagawa to the Statue of Hachiko gave him a shred of closure.

That was all semantics. What he had meant to point out was that, since his dear partner was evidently holding a grudge against him for killing him (twice), he by extension did not remember everything.

Or was he simply trying to explain why the other Composer didn't trust him, as he rightfully shouldn't? So long of talking himself around in circles had closed in any thoughts about himself, after all, and Joshua pushed those away because they hit a little too close to home for right now.

His Music skipped a note, and Josh blinked.

The other pistol, the one that had been in Joshua's hand, would come to sit in Neku's as if it had simply appeared. The handle would be warm, and the chamber filled with only a single shot, and only the slightest shimmer in the air between them illustrated the fact that Josh had just used the last fragment of his power to stop time and deliver his firearm of choice to his rival.

"Sick is a matter of perspective," he responded cryptically, choosing not to respond to Sakuraba's description of the game, instead explaining it himself.

"I'm sure you remember the rules, dear partner."

Violet eyes glimmered slightly as Joshua pulled the other pistol from his pocket, raising it in his right hand to aim (casually) at Neku.

"On one, we shoot. The survivor gets to exist."

The verbal countdown came and went, the numbers dropping slowly from five to four.

Four to three.

The Moonflow bubbled. Joshua's lips tilted into an indulgent smile.

Two.

The leaves rustled.

One.

Bang.

[neku]

Neku chuckled darkly. Oh right. How could he had forgotten? HE shot HIM when he had this little dual in that...well, he was still unsure of what the Composer's lair was called, but it didn't matter to him. It was sad that Neku forgot three little words that would have saved Joshua a bullet. The gun appeared and Neku aimed it at him, not even dealing with the thought of how Joshua did it.

Neku's glare was hard. At the simple rules, Neku said nothing but he responded with taking off the safey. The countdown began. Was it verbal? Neku hardly cared. When One rang out, Neku's finger pulled the trigger. It would be then where his memories hit him too late...it would be then Neku would instantly regret having actually pulled the trigger.

What's wrong? I thought you couldn't afford to lose? Give up on yourself and you give up on the world.

Neku dropped the gun. Mr. H - Cat - became the new composer. Joshua saved Shibuya. He could never forgive him...but he could trust him. But...he didn't trust Joshua this time and...he...Neku didn't know when the first tear fell. It was just like that time when he found out Joshua had killed him, betrayed him, and twisted him for his own Game.

But it was different. He...didn't trust his partner. And now...Neku started to run towards Joshua, his eyes wide, at the realization of it all. He just shot his partner. He didn't trust his partner. The memories were back - all of it. The time Neku spent with Joshua...the friends, the betrayals, the trust he had. 'Don't go dying on me dammit!' Neku thought harshly as he was at Joshua's side, suddenly frozen.

"...You idiot..." Neku said. It was all he could say. His throat started to swell, all words would have been muffled by sobs. The tears that fell grew in numbers as Neku shook his head, not believing what he was seeing. What could he do? The Survivor gets to exist... "Then you better survive, dammit...!" Neku said, though his voice slightly harsh from his sobs.

If anything...Joshua didn't shoot, did he?

[joshua]

Josh dropped.

It was one thing to see the godly Composer engaged in full-on combat, complete with breaking a sweat, even though he maintained that he didn't enjoy it. It was another to see his body sprawled on the ground, perfect hair tousled and skin even paler than it usually was.

It was another thing to see the Composer shot.

The gun clattered to the ground as soon as he did, bouncing a few inches, maybe a foot away, and if it were to be examined - if Neku chose to look - it would be noted that the safety catch was still flicked on.

What was the word for it? Assisted suicide?

Nevertheless, all of the observations that would normally be Joshua's to make were veiled to his violet eyes, half-mast and dim, as he experienced what it meant to die.

There was little blood. Neku was a good shot, after all, the bullet impacting within centimeters of his heart.

So no, he hadn't fired.

What was Joshua experiencing at this moment? He couldn't tell you, even if he was feeling in a mood to spill all of his thoughts and experiences to anyone who asked. Even if he cut the cryptic, he wouldn't have been able to explain it.

Polar opposites; dark and light, the blink of an eye and the span of several centuries, hot and cold, high and low (and at this observation, Joshua would have snorted or possibly giggled, knowing full well the irony). Pain and numbness.

Shibuya's Composer had not died often, evidently.

It peeved him that he wasn't able to make sense of what he was seeing, but it didn't take a genius to realize that he was probably in some kind of hell - he claimed to be an atheist, but really, if the Christians had it right, who would be surprised as to where he ended up?

Nevertheless.

Around the point of Neku's first statement (though he would have disagreed with the name plastered onto him, things about disrespecting the dead and all), he started moving. Being pulled. Or something.

Fed up with this whole jumbled perception thing, probably even worse addled by his natural clairvoyance, Josh gave up.

And the orangette's second sentence made its way to the French gray, somehow, filtered as if through water.

"Then you better survive, dammit...!"

At this, Joshua would have giggled that damnable laugh, and smiled knowingly at Neku. "But that's not the point of the Game, dear partner."

Given that Josh's powers were by now attempting to clarify just what the hell was going on here, that response may or may not have gotten all the way back to the other Composer by way of telepathy. May or may not.

Back in reality, Joshua's fingers twitched.

Then he was pushing himself up with his palms, the roar of Neku's Music sending his ears ringing, and only now did he realize that he'd been straining to hear a fragment of a sound, anything, down there.

The French gray understood perfectly what had happened, now. But it wasn't something he would ever explain - he just wasn't that kind of person. Regarding the orangette with tired amethyst eyes, though, he spoke.

"You're not supposed to cheat, Neku."

The decay had been a virus of a sort, contracted undoubtedly by the reaction of his own powers to "her", his partner's "friend", like an infection causing his Music to feed on itself. Neku'd killed him, stilling his Music, but refused to let go, veritably reaching into the depths of hell to drag him back.

Josh nearly snorted. That was devotion.

But he was okay now, no longer in any danger of disintegrating, a cursory examination of himself provided. If only a bit worse for wear, having just died and all. Though it could be argued he didn't get far, though in the realm of the dead, how far was "far"?

He fully expected an Angel to show up and smite him, now. Being revived seemed like something illegal, and he had a track record already considering such offenses.

Josh blinked, still propped up on his hands, and wavered, close to losing his balance.

[neku]

Dammit, did he hit him in the heart? It was hard to tell - but the fact that the bullet pierced him in the same area as his heart got Neku worried. Neku wasn't one to feel very afraid at any given moment, but he knew the moment he saw Joshua drop, there was fear. Real fear. It wasn't the fear of the boogie man or something as silly or even a phobia.

It was worse. It almost killed Neku inside. Neku heard the clang and instantly looked at it. Dammit...Joshua didn't even had the intention to shoot him! He couldn't understand Joshua. No...he wasn't supposed to understand him. Everyone had their secret garden that only they are allowed inside...Neku couldn't see into that secret garden, but damn, did he wish he could.

He could try to read Joshua's mind but...why would he? Did he even want to know what was going through the french gray's head? When Joshua didn't answer him, it seriously freaked him out. Did he just murder his partner? Did he seriously murder his partner? He was no better now than he was when he fell for Uzuki's trap, nearly killing Shiki.

"Hey! I'm talking to you! Don't...Don't you..." Neku didn't want to admit the tears were flowing faster down his face. He didn't want to admit he was starting to choke on his own tears. If Neku ever got the message Joshua had thought of was unknown. But then he saw it. A twitch. Joshua was alive. Alive. He couldn't tell if Joshua died and came back or if he simply was dead now but it didn't matter.

Joshua wasn't going anywhere where Neku couldn't follow. When Joshua pulled himself up, Neku only then realized how close he was to the other. He wasn't sure when he knelt down to his partner. But at his push startled the grieving Neku and was pushed to his back. But he quickly recovered and brought himself up to a sitting position.

When Joshua spoke, Neku couldn't help but smile at him. Even when he got shot at, Joshua was his same old self. "You cheated too during your own Game." Joshua was reminded how he was playing the game alive and how the Game was supposed to be null and void because of that. Neku also cheated by having a reaper as a partner rather than an actual partner.

Neku had cheated various amounts of times. He never regretted a single one. Least of all, this one. Noticing the sudden weakness of his partner, Neku pushed himself forward and grasped the arm of the other and pulled him gently put to him. The hole was unsightly, so Neku used a pin to close the hole. At least Joshua wasn't going anywhere.

"Don't do that to me..." Neku murmured as he held the other in his arms, the flowing tears finally slowing down. Neku finally understood why he liked Joshua. Why he gave into that kiss...and why he kissed him back. It all made sense. The Composer...was just irresistible to Neku. He couldn't explain it; he just knew that the Composer was someone he couldn't be without.

With that, Neku took one of his arms off of Joshua and lifted his head, only to lean in and gently kiss the Composer. He can come up with whatever reason he wanted to - use it against him or what not. Nothing could explain to Joshua why Neku kissed him outside the fact that Neku wanted to kiss the french gray. 'Screw what he thinks.' Neku thought to himself.

Besides...the Composer might like Neku too.

[joshua]

"You cheated too during your own Game."

"There is a difference," the French gray reminded, still regaining his breath but smarmy as ever. "I made those rules. You defied Nature, dear partner; eventually you'll have to atone for that."

But Neku's smile made him pause, blink for a moment. Josh had been about to add something snide about the type of retribution he'd end up making, but somewhere between his brain and his mouth it just fizzled out and... died. Intercepted by the look on the orangette's face.

Was he being nice? It couldn't be determined. But definitely, the godlike Composer was showing a shred of self-restraint.

He let Neku cover the bullet hole in his shirt with a pin. Josh didn't recognize which one it was, upon examination, but decided it didn't really matter as Neku dared to embrace him.

Shibuya's Composer nearly flinched. Nobody ever straight-up hugged him. Megumi licked his shoes - Sanae maybe gave him a fatherly pat on the shoulder or something equally "hip". And maybe it was the fact that he just transcended the boundaries of life and death twice in less than so many minutes, but he was feeling pretty damn disassembled right now, like a piece of glass that's been broken and awkwardly glued back together.

Maybe it was unusual, but Joshua said to hell with it all, and looped his arms around Neku's mid-back.

There was no response to make at the orangette's desperate plea. Nothing but to let himself be led into a kiss, that he returned - with no great amount of fervor; again, dying did take a lot out of a person. But when all was said and done, Josh was the first one to pull away, standing and brushing dirt off of his crisp lavender button-up, whether real or imaginary. One ivory-white palm was extended to Neku to help him up, if need be.

"Trust your partner, Neku," he said, as was to be expected of the cryptic Composer of Shibuya.

[neku]

"...It'll be worth it." Neku admitted. Saving Joshua from death was worth whatever 'Nature' had to throw at him. Too bad he didn't know that this same 'Nature' would end up giving him a psychotic cat later on. Yeah, rules be damned. Neku seemed to live to break rules, Game rules or Nature rules, Neku seemed to just...break them.

Most of the times, not even on purpose. the Composer shouldn't talk. No one ever dared to hug him either. Even when he had friends, he kept a certain barrier to himself physically. No one hugged him. Ever. Yet he was the one doing it...as if out of necessity...to make sure Joshua wasn't really dead. He wasn't, of course, but Neku felt the obligation anyways.

Why the other returned it? He wasn't sure. Neku wasn't offended that he broke away, but was pretty surprised that he could stand. Neku brushed the hand away lightly, which was strange for Neku in on itself, but he stood up on his own. He...didn't want Joshua falling over. He wasn't a light-weight, but he did just die and Neku knew when he died, if he stood up again and offered help, he wouldn't be able to handle the weight.

Neku blinked at the Composer's words and couldn't help but crack a smile. It was strangely wide for someone like Neku; usually his lips barely twitched at the corners. Maybe he was happy that Joshua wasn't dying on him this time. "Yeah. I'm not going to forget it this time." Maybe even forgive you...nah.