Remnant [Fang]

[Oerba Yun Fang [The Desperado]]

"Promise me this won't be a single night."

The endless minutes all felt like hours, as she was with Lina for the first time in so long. It was astounding how well they still knew each other, clothing strewn everywhere, a trail across the rooms that they had wandered through blindly. There was a softness now that came with this afterglow that she was hit with. Here she was twined with Lina, and never felt more at peace with herself than she did now. She didn't know why but it felt like everything that wore on her mind for weeks, and months seemed to just melt away in these moments when she was caught in these throes of passion and pleasure. She smiled at Lina then, an arm slung around her lover's shoulder as she rested her head in the crook of her neck. An amused chuckle, let free of her lips, her normally messy wild mane of hair looked tame despite all that had occurred in the last bit of time. She placed a single gentle kiss on Lina's neck.

"Single night? Heh, that I can promise won't happen Love." she murmured softly. It was unreal to be able to lay here like this, so completely relaxed with someone. As of late, Fang had not been able to relax to save her life. First the reunion in Zanarkand, and the tournament, and seeing the threat that made Cocoon look like a bunch of pansies. Yet, now it didn't matter, it was all trivial at this moment. The world could end and Fang wouldn't give a moogle's rear end at this very second. She planted another kiss upon Lina's lips before smiling at her and speaking once more. " 'sides there ain't much in this world that could tear me away from you again. I ain't a l'Cie anymore. I don't have any time limits or anythin'.." her voice was softer, much softer, and yet it still held the same romantic sentiment as saying something and yelling it to the whole of Oerba. Despite Fang not normally caring what people saw of her.. she considered this a quite private moment.

"An' y'tell me this ain't gonna end anytime soon. Because I don' personally want it to." This thing that she had with Lina, these feelings she thought were dead and gone were so alive and surviving, thriving even as she smiled at the other woman. Lina was the sweetest escape from the harsh reality of the world outside, and perhaps that was the best and worst thing about her. A part of Fang was scared to tie up those loose ends she left in the tournament, and yet a part of her was ready to get the closure she so desperately wanted from the solider known as Lightning. It was no secret Fang felt something that transcended friendship towards the Guardian Corps soldier, but her advances were always put at bay, put away by things like Light's own fear. Fang wanted to quell that storm inside of the soldier, she wanted to help Lightning figure out who she was. But for now..

Lina was all that mattered. And perhaps in the future, all that would be.

[Oerba Sol Linette]

It was a relief to walk continents and to come home... to relax and take a bath. This warrior was a weary soul -- the life of a soldier had always taken its toll on her more than adequate body. But home wasn't a place for her... it was a memory that could only bring tears. But here, right now with a woman she loved... her mind was in another place where all else in the world would be forgotten; and as long as she never thought about anything other than their world -- she knew peace. And more than anything it's what she needed to keep it all in place. She knew she was a mess..... of the many things they'd suffered in the war... from friends and family to their surrogate brothers and sisters Lina was one who'd lost it all.

All but Fang. She hadn't known what became of Vanille -- couldn't. Beyond that last battle to bring the both of them into the heart of Cocoon she couldn't have known. But now -- with their clothes scattered about the room and her lover by her side, Lina reveled in the bliss... her chest comfortably pressed against the girl whom she desired for the rest of her life. And she desired her just as she was. And this house would be just for them... to let their clothes lay and remain as bare as they were. She received Fang's gentle kiss and sighed at her promise. Her words were comforting... to know that there would be nothing to tear her away and that she was committed as she was to staying here with her.

In the end, it seemed both of them needed an escape from the harsh reality. Lina was no fool -- someday it would come creeping in, but... she was a soldier. When that time came she'd fight for every waking moment of her life. Life. It was a strange word to use.... ever since the war, survival had been all that kept her going. The constant need to have a purpose in life.... a joy and a reason to wake up in the morning. And now? She would wake... to see the beautiful face of Fang smiling coyly to the mischief she in mind for the day. "I don't want it ta' end, Fang. Ah wan' us to be forever." she smiled, softly.... as she leaned it, pressing her lips against Fang's and grazing against it as she spoke. "I want to know you'd never hurt me. An' I want you." she sighed, bringing her arm to wrap it around Fang's neck... facing each other was impossible without having their lips collide. She let out a husky, aroused breath... a cheeky little grin reminiscent of the days when they'd explore one another's charms.

Her fingers below Fang's waist curled as Lina brought it to her lips, Licking the tip of each one before mounting Fang and pinning her against the bath and pressing their lips. A deep kiss.

"Especially you."

[Oerba Yun Fang [The Desperado]]

"I want to know you'd never hurt me. An' I want you."

Those words, especially those words in particular hit her in a place she couldn't truly figure out what to call. Sighing, Fang looked at Lina dead in the eyes, and suddenly that playfulness changed to a seriousness that rivaled that of Lightning. Lina was asking Fang to give herself and all of herself to her, which was something in most ways, Fang feared. Feared for her survival. Despite being a strong woman Fang's heart was actually surprisingly soft. Fang cared and cared about everyone, Lightning, she couldn't and would never willingly remove the soldier from her mind. Light meant something to Fang that Fang would never be able to eloquently express. She was never a woman of words, much rather a woman of action in every sense of the expression. She knew it, in her heart she needed Lightning more than she needed any other person on this planet. Her heart had moved forward when she found a new family.

"I can' guarantee that. Never will, I ain't the same person ya knew from the war anymore. I had more happen to me in th' last several months that I'd lie to you if I said I wouldn't hurt you" it was the truth. There was still that longing for Lina Fang possessed but in truth it all stemmed from her want of a another woman. That and her fear that she would hurt Lina because Ragnarok existed inside of her. Fang was also an honest woman, and eventually Lightning was going to come up in conversation some how some way. But for now, Fang would keep what she truly felt at bay, truly wished in her mind. Maybe she'd do what she'd done before to find herself. Leave Oerba in the night and search. Search for the person who she so desperately wanted that she tried to replace and use Lina for. It wasn't fair. Maybe in another time, and another place Lina would have been Fang's permanent lover. But not here and now..

Never mind that. Tonight she'd lose herself to this woman who'd taken her and claimed her so many times before. She'd lose herself once more and ignore that world outside which knocked on the door every chance it had when she was coherent. She'd ignore it tonight, instead embracing this woman's touch and feeding an insatiable hunger that she possessed.

"Especially you."

It was.. unexpected to say the least. Lina's recovery time was something Fang may have forgotten. Either way the words prior comforted her. She had an escape from reality when she needed it, a place to call home even... yet why was she so apprehensive when it came to this point in a relationship. Afraid to settle herself, and allow herself to become a part of another person. But despite her fear here, she'd allow herself to be taken by Lina once again. Fang felt herself pinned against the tub wall and pulled into a deep kiss. She returned it with the same zeal and passion as the other, the playful glint in her eyes returning. Tonight she'd enjoy herself and this woman atop her. For it wasn't very often either of them were able to let loose like this. As she pulled away from the kiss Fang lived up to her name, teeth grazing against Lina's neck as she purred some incoherent sentence in her native tongue.

[Oerba Sol Linette]

In saying that she can't promise to ever hurt her... she already had. The world she wanted wasn't some pipe dream that was perfect and full of roses... but she did want to have Fang with her. A constant in her life. It had soured the moment... the mood -- for her was now surprisingly somber. Even as she kissed Fang, Lina had done so as if it were her last. Like saying goodbye to someone knowing you couldn't see them again. It hadn't helped with her rage.... but right now she needed this too much that she didn't care. That one night was what she needed before losing to all that wanted to consume her. Vipers. If you could ever see her heart it would have been there -- pale, while those vipers coiled around her heart, draining what life she had within her. Hate was a poison... and even if she would never see herself shying away from drinking it, she knew it was not for her own good. Which is why for this night -- her mind cried out for a calm within the storm. A moment in time where, at the center of it all, she could live and breathe for just one day.

The kiss intensified. Want was replaced by need; she no longer wanted this -- she needed it. And so, even as she knew it wouldn't last she kept going. Her eyes fighting back the tears as she closed them, losing herself in that kiss. She'd never felt this way before. There had always been that excitement -- the thrill of having her pinned beneath her or submitting Fang to sensual torture. To roam her body with adventurous fingers... like a musician, she'd skillfully press Fang's keys and made an orchestra of her restrained sighs -- always building to that crescendo that fell with the most passionate cries. It was what she'd been so used to when it came to their play time. But this need? It was different. New...

And yet, she wouldn't stop herself... she had to keep going. She opened her eyes and groaned as Fang bared her teeth to her neck, keeping herself pressed against her current partner that she knew wouldn't last. But of her needs? To give wasn't one of them right now. It's not something she could have easily explained... perhaps in the end she'd reverted to a more primal urge... and that was something she understood. The need to have more... to be in control. To receive more than to give. And why not? She wouldn't have Fang anymore... she'd said it herself, she couldn't promise not to hurt her. To give her cause for doubt. So then let it be; a single night where she could indulge in every whim that came to her mind and lose herself to tomorrow.

Her hands slipped into the water and rubbed at her back. Her other hand went lower as she set Fang's loins on fire. She was weighty as she pressed against her lover's lips as if to draw whatever she could like some well.She wanted all that she had; to have it all for just one night. And just as they were getting into it, she pulled back, taking Fang with her to the opposite side of the large bath. She pulled herself up to sit at its edge, leaning over to kiss her one-night-lover. She parted her legs and drew her close...

[Oerba Yun Fang [The Desperado]]

There was a side of Fang showing that was so rarely shown. Something far more primal and rough. Fang changed from the girl who clung to Lina after every single one of her failed relationships. Fang had a fatal flaw when it came to love, she was afraid, terrified even by the thought of settling down with someone. She was terrified of that sort of confinement that could lead someone like her whom was so accustomed to wandering the world. She was carried by waves of passion and instinct. Love was incoherent for her, always a storm of conflicts, carried by powerful waves of passion for a person and instinct, that when she messed up she corrected herself rather brusquely. Her capabilities to be so cruel to a person and yet so very tender as well conflicted a lot of what she felt and now it was showing.

It was no longer a matter of want for this woman, she needed touch tonight and she'd indulge in that need until that hunger left her for a while. Left the woman until the next time this fire flared again.

---

---

That symphonic chorus of sounds she could coax from another woman was flooring, some sounds many people would think people should not be able to make. She smirked sitting up. Leaning over her lover once more, her eyes meeting those of Linas. They were darker, she let her mouth descend upon the open expanse of skin on her neck. Fang murmured something to her that was a warning, it was for her own good. "I'm still a monster of war Lina. I am still Ragnarok, she sleeps within me." her voice was low. As she pulled away and allowed her lover the time to move to face her. Fang was still that monster, Ragnarok still lived inside of her, she wasn't a Pulsian woman, she was supposedly the Pulsian savior. To the people whom knew that secret, they treated her like she was to be feared.

Everyone had darkness in their hearts. Fang was no exception.

Even now that darkness she had in her was alluring in a way, so many people, strangers even were attracted to the darkness that seemed to follow her at times. She'd never understand that. Lina's hate only seemed to fuel that darkness, and Fang's own cruel tendencies only heightened it more. The Calamity had tainted this woman's soul in ways Fang would never be able to understand. She tried to fight the monsters within her in order to keep herself sane.

It was Lina's move in this game of cat and mouse, and it was a delicate game. Fang guessed thats what gave her the thrill.

[Oerba Sol Linette]

She was still enjoying the tremors of what they'd just done. The relief that came was addictive... to feel something so strongly... that need and want that could so easily be seen as the same; it wasn't something that any other feeling could have easily replaced. Plain lust was always driven by need -- worse still when faced with so much stress. And Lina certainly had plenty of it. The base need wouldn't ever go away... she loved it too much to simply put it aside... but she knew that when the anger had come, she barely remembered it. Was it so wrong? There no other feeling quite like it in the world. To enjoy it with someone you love was even better; a sensation that you couldn't top.

It was different now that the mood had gone... with her lust sated, Lina was left pondering on what little she had left. It was a pleasant distraction... but Fang had already said she wasn't one that could promise to never hurt her. She'd hoped that her lover had matured in their time apart... to have learned fidelity and the full beauty of the romance when it was so real. But she should have learned not to expect anything -- not that it mattered anymore.... the damage was done and she was hurt. It wasn't that Fang couldn't live up to what she needed or wanted in this relationship... but what hurt the most was that she didn't even look it in herself to try. The rest? It was rejection.

Her mind was a tattered mess; a patchwork of broken dreams, despair and hatred rolled into a single weary form. She was a soldier through and through.... she'd fought to stop the vipers from stealing from Gran Pulse and now she fought herself for the very fragments of her own mind that screamed for peace and quiet. And then? Fang had mentioned Ragarok. Using it as an excuse not to be with her.... it was like listening to lies and insults -- it only fueled her disgust. That poisonous hatred, she could hardly contain herself. But... "You said.... you said that there wasn't much in this world that could tear you from me. You said that... and I believed you! Fang, did you lie?"

She was confused. As anyone should have been. This ... dark side? Was it a lie to to justify her walking away? Why would she dare to say two things that conflicted with each other -- why? Ragnarok was the potential in all Pulse L'cie; the end of Cocoon. A great and terrible weapon to destroy their enemy. It had never phased her in the past -- why would it possibly ruin how she felt now? It was a monstrous mess... "Y-you... you used me!" she choked as her tears welled. She shook... shivered as she pulled away.

[Oerba Yun Fang [The Desperado]]

"You said.... you said that there wasn't much in this world that could tear you from me. You said that... and I believed you! Fang, did you lie?"

She shook her head. “No Lina, I didn’t lie.” Fang inhaled a slow and steady breath, “Lina, I’m terrified. I don’t wanna hurt you. I don’t want to end up doing what I did before.” Her past haunted her; Fang was a woman that didn’t appreciate imperfections in her work (despite what she made others think). Fang knew exactly what she did during that mission to Cocoon’s core made Fang aware of what she was capable of when it came to Ragnarok. And honestly the woman was scared, terrified, and she wanted to cling to Lina, that sudden constant that had returned to her life. A soldier who like her, knew the horrors and the trials of war, and what it did to people. She didn’t want to lose that constant, not now... not after so long of spending her waking hours in limbo between countries, worlds, and continents.

“You know… you remember what I did. You were there that day because… I remember your face before I transformed. I remember it all… Lina, I can’t forgive that… I made a promise to myself to never hurt any of my kin and yet… I did. I went against that vow I took to myself.” Fang had not only killed thousands on Cocoon, she had killed Lina as Ragnarok and cracked a hole in Cocoon’s shell and made the scar on Cocoon forever. However that day was something Fang would never forgive herself for, and tried so hard to forget, but was only reminded when she saw Lightning, or now, with Lina. Pulsian blood was on her hands. Fang shook and sudden sweeps of emotion hit her hard again. She inched forward towards Lina, slowly; she could see the tears in the other woman’s eyes.


"Y-you... you used me!"

She shook her head, no.. She slowly continued forward towards Lina. And despite the other woman shaking and curled away from her, Fang curled her arm around the small of Lina’s back and pulled her close into a hug. It was silent, soft, and it expressed things words could not. Every feeling of Fang’s fear, her apprehension, her sadness, the burden she’d carried with her for so long, it was dissolved into a single action. Fang let go here, in the solitude of this home with Lina. She held Lina and cried for the first time in longer than she could remember (Even if her memories had holes in them). Her lips pressed to Lina’s neck, and to the other woman’s cheeks, and then to her lips. She kissed Lina in something beyond lustful, beyond loving, it was something that transcended description.

She pulled away only briefly, and looked at Lina in the eyes. Something reflected in her own eyes. “Never, never would I use you for just sex or a good lay Lina; you’re much more to me than that. You are someone, someone who means the world to me, and means more to me than I can express in words. I’m terrified Lina.” Her voice was choked, as if she was still trying to fight what was inevitably about to come. Fang’s inevitable emotional breakdown, which was a long time coming. Five hundred years to be exact as Fang’s hold on Lina tightened, even here Fang suddenly felt as if she would lose Lina. As if suddenly Lina was going to disappear again, as if this was just a dream. “Shit Lina.. Don’t go… I swear if this is a dream. If this is a dream and I wake up without you tomorrow.. I don’t know what I’m gonna do..” her voice the choked feeling was only increasing.

“Lina, I don’ wanna go. I don’ wanna lose my kin again..”

[Oerba Sol Linette]

She wanted to go away. To pull back, gather her clothes and just walk.... to keep walking and not stopping -- not for food, shelter or even to rest. To be as far away as was possible from Fang; the woman who said one thing then said another... a reminder of the things she hated about the world. She wouldn't have said it.... wouldn't have cared to remember... but she wasn't oblivious as to her end. Lina's own death flashed before her as Fang mentioned it... it had been a horrible day. To have fought so bitterly to push through to the heart of Cocoon -- to have seen so many soldiers pay the ultimate price in hopes of ending the war for good, it was difficult not to hate the same people that had cost them so many lives... and she'd lost that battle. Even now that strong passion had yet to abate. It was merely forgotten for the time being.

But those last moments... when Fang had let herself succumb to the nature of the beast and raged even against her own kin. It had left them in shock. To be one of the first who was a victim of Ragnarok's fury? The end had been quick. She hadn't forgotten... and yet at the same time held no ill will. Fang was Fang... and despite all she'd done, the most hurtful thing that her lover had ever committed was jeopardizing this affair they had. She saw no reason as to why that should have kept them apart. Was It because she was a reminder of a past sin? Lina didn't care. But Fang broke down and Lina cursed to herself. She couldn't bear to be without her lover. She remained quiet as she bit back the pain...knowing that to leave now was the wiser option -- but Fang was hard to let go.

As she cried, the soldier stopped... her hand roamed freely over the huntresses' body. Fingers raked through that wild hair as Lina held her in close, her cheek resting against the sobbing woman's head. She wrapped her legs around Fang's waist. She wasn't going anywhere; right here in the place she wanted to call home, in this embrace, between her legs... Fang would always have a place.

"Be mine, Fang..."

[Oerba Yun Fang [The Desperado]]

Fang couldnt bring herself to reply, couldnt find the words to reply to Lina's request. She just let herself go in a way that she'd never imagined possible. It wasn't that her request was ignored, Fang heard it, and knew what Lina wanted, but there was closure she needed to seek, needed to find. She needed to speak to Lina, in a non-romantic fashion. She'd put off the reply to the request until she was able to give her an answer. Lina returning her embrace only redoubled the feeling of lonesomeness. It wasnt right, the way she knew she was using Lina, she was lying through her teeth. Yet, she needed Lina now unlike anything she'd be able to express. She felt Lina run her hands through her hair, and she loosened her hug slightly.

She leaned back, and pressed her lips to Lina's chest, where her heart would be. Words were obsolete to Fang now, they weren't needed to her yet despite her thoughts she spoke. "I hurt you, didn't I?" she murmured quietly. She pulled Lina back, into a tight hug and a bruising kiss. It was rough, and desperate, she desperately wanted to tell Lina how she had grown in the last months, after meeting Light and everyone else... But she couldnt. Lina was a soldier, and one who didn't take kindly to people from Cocoon. She never regretted the past, "Lina, I wanna stay here. The world can rot.." she was shaking still. She was shaking like she did when she and Lina first got together.

Fang stood up, nudging Lina to follow. Tonight, the world was forgotten.. "Lina.. We 'ave a lot to talk about since I'm gonna be here. But that's for tomorrow.. Tonight I want you, an' all of you." She walked towards what was to be the bedroom. She'd lose herself, tonight and worship this woman. Tomorrow when the dawn's light hit was when the world would come crashing back in on them both.